A lot of transitions this November- new job, returning to working in-office for the first time since Covid, meeting new people and seeing them two days in a row (with two days at home so balance), being able to breathe for the first time in my life through my nose (deviated septum surgery- no new exterior nose though)… newness of any kind is so helpful as we enter the time of year where 5pm feels like 10pm. What’s your go-to to keep your mind in check right now?
If you don’t have an answer that is also fine- here are a few movies/shows/podcasts that made this month.
The title of the newsletter stems from this article about imposter syndrome as a parent specifically but it made me think about times where I still don’t quite feel like an adult. Like maybe specifically choosing to not put something away, just because you can. Or just feeling out of place doing a very adult-thing, like taxes. What are instances where you still don’t feel like an adult?
Visual Art
Mária Švarbová’s swimming series
Mária Švarbová- It hurts to share this but Švarbová’s work was fed to me on Facebook out of all places but I’m grateful to have been thrown into her rabbit hole of highly saturated photography that seems to be a direct response to Instagram photography. Her work always seems to work as a set of figures framed by the socialist-era architecture surrounding them. I hope someone has the audacity to get her to make a film.
Judy Chicago’s Evening Fan
Judy Chicago’s Herstory at the New Museum- An incredible retrospective of Judy Chicago’s sixty-year long career featuring paintings, videos of her performances, scupltures, prints and stained glass. The show also features an exhibit of influential feminist artists. One of my favorite corners of the show featured her chronicled painted diary of a year of self-doubt with one feeling immortalized per day- it’s tucked in the stairwell between two floors.
Jay Z’s The Book of HOV at The Brooklyn Library (free!)- Maybe my emotional state at this show was connected to the fact that I saw it during my last week at my old job (ch-ch-ch-changes) but I was so impressed by this retrospective. First off- how wonderful to be able to see a show after 6PM- there is no line, it’s free and during library hours. It’s rare to see so many New Yorkers at an art show and made me wish there were more late night exhibits. Two things stuck with me from this show- one, the fact that Jay-Z started a business for any partnership deal that wasn’t offered to him. At the time, athletes were the only ones who got big branded sponsorship deals which led him to create Roc-A-Wear and D’USSE Cognac. The second is a story- Jay-Z was the first hiphop artist to play at Glastonbury and Oasis’ Noah Gallagher told press that he thought that people wouldn’t want to go if Jay-Z were headlining. In response, Jay-Z opened his set playing Wonderwall which was SO badass.
Henry Taylor, the dress, ain’t me
Henry Taylor: B Side at the Whitney Museum: Henry Taylor’s exhibit is one of the most energizing painting exhibits I’ve been to to-date- and includes a portrait of Jay Z within it which is a good segway from the last show. The show is entitled B Side because it highlights his lesser known works- all reflective of Black life in America. From an installation honoring the Black panther movement to portraits of friends and family, Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. or the Obamas.
Performance
Alex Tatarsky’s Sad Boys in Harpy Land
Alex Tatarsky’s Sad Boys in Harpy Land- I met Alex 8 years ago in a dancehall workshop led by Marguerite Hemmings, which feels like a lifetime ago, and feel like they have been in my orbit ever since, we constantly run into each other and I’ve kept missing their work and being told I had to see it by seemingly everyone I know. We caught the show at the tale end of another really devastating week in the world and I don’t think any piece responds better to this moment than Tatarsky’s. The show is described as “equal parts sad clown, demented cabaret, and extended crisis of meaning.” In Sad Boys, Alex connects her struggles making sense and art of this moment with Goethe’s Wilhelm Meister’s Apprenticeship, a novel about an upper-class young German man attempting and failing to commit himself to a life of art. It’s self-deprecating, a cry for help, disgusting?, hilarious and a rare sight of someone whose life is entirely tied to what they bring onstage.
Movies
Beyoncé’s Renaissance film- is it a surprise that I went opening night? As someone who both saw Renaissance live and Beyoncé’s Coachella documentary, it’s always hard to imagine how she can top what she’s already done- but surprise, once again Bey has created something stand alone and extraordinary. Nothing replaces the experience of seeing her live but the movie offers different vantage points which I was so grateful to witness- her dancers perspectives and some specific stories from them as well as Blue’s coming to her own. Another aspect the doc offers that anyone who has ever worked in production needed was the mounting of her show- the hours, staff, risks it took. The magnitude of it all is hard to wrap your head around. Spoiler alert- they even include a tech issue which I was not expecting her to share! If you are also part of the hive- go- it is the church ceremony we all need right now.
Shinjuku Boys (1995)- BAM had a series on films about masculinity and I was so happy to catch this documentary (also available online on Criterion) with Shannon about three non-binary and trans masc Japanese folks who all work at the New Marilyn Club in Tokyo, which is exclusively staffed by masc identifying lesbians and trans folks. Because it was filmed in the 90s, some of the ways in which the subjects are handled feel very crude and outdated but the honesty with which they handle said interviews is arresting.
Priscilla by Sofia Coppola
Priscilla- The movie Priscilla feels like the polar opposite of the Elvis movie in every way- since it’s a Sofia Coppola film it’s so much more about what is unseen and unsaid. I loved it and came out of it with a lot of new information about Priscilla that was fascinating but some folks might find it too slow. One of the focuses of the movie is her youth and innocence which uncomfortably stand out.
TV/Streaming
Love Has Won: The Cult of Mother God (HBO) is probably the most jarring cult documentary I’ve ever seen- which says a lot considering my gross intake of them. In this cult, God is a woman who stepped down from a job at McDonald’s and dominated by “Angels” such as Marilyn Monroe, Robin Williams and Prince among others. Her patrons have all been screwed by the medical system or their families and are looking for a cure and new life with her. Her following is fascinating in that the movement’s belief system doesn’t involve much except for a high consumption of illicit substances and the belief that she, “mom”, will save them all.
Twin Flames (Netflix): I am so excited to be working for the company that made the podcast behind this show- which I also listened to- but if you haven’t entered the twin flames universe yet- buckle up. Uncharismatic cult leaders take advantage of people searching for love and deceived by love- and push them to fight for their love in ways that are both unhealthy and lead them into debt, jail time, forced gender affirmation surgeries for some and broken families.
The Billionaire, The Butler and The Boyfriend (Netflix): One of the greatest political and social dramas of France involves the L’Oréal fortune queen, Liliane Bettencourt, her illicit political donations and mostly her being taken advantage of by seemingly most people in her life. I highly recommend this doc that includes real audio recorded in secret by her butler and shows just how poisoned relationships can get from endless income.
Podcasts
The Kids of Rutherford County: This show has been out for a minute but is a nightmare documentary following a history of arrests of children in Tennessee initiated by a county judge- I was left with more questions than answers and could not believe what I was hearing.
Critics-at-Large by The New Yorker- I have been waiting for this show to come out ever since Double X Gabfest by Slate went downhill. New Yorker staff writers Vinson Cunningham, Naomi Fry, and Alexandra Schwartz look into cultural trends every Thursday from restaurant reservation nightmares to celebrity mémoires- The Britney Spears episode is VERY good.
Britney Spears’ audiobook- I listened to her whole memoire while recovering from surgery and was brought back to much tabloid gossip with a fresh lens and admiration for the grace with which Britney handled it for so long. Michelle Williams in a phenomenal narrator.
Books
Rebecca Makkai’s I Have Some Questions For You was a thrilling escape to a podcasters’ revisiting of a murder that happened during her Junior year of high school, which in turn leads her to reunite with many figures of her past. Brilliantly written it frames the story amidst actual news stories that all seem to blend into one another and showcase the lack of grey area and overwhelm in everything surrounding us.
I will leave you with a wonderful story and documentary about a cowboy and Queen Elizabeth that my mom’s friend Andrea Nevins made a documentary on- I learned so much about the mistreatment of horses in Hollywood and the healing power of horses through it.
Take care <3