Francofaux
My gripe with the Olsen twins and Best of 2025
Happy 3 YEARS of this Substack.
I’m not on here as much with newborn etc but do you want to know what cool cultural topic we are going to dive into that doesn’t matter at all but keeps me up at night? terrible enactments of French people in movies. And my top 2025.
First order of business is to talk about the crisis of non-French people playing French characters in movies- slightly dramatic- but it really is puzzling when you happen to be French speaking and see an actor with an absurd accent performing in a made up language.
If you’re a casting agent in NY- throw a rock in Carroll Gardens or the Upper East Side and find a real one? or at least a consultant?
Here are some of the worst representations I have ever witnessed graded on-
1) accuracy of language in script
2) accent accuracy
3) overall level of deception.
With a rating from 1-10 (1= lowest and 10=highest)
The worst Francofaux EVER: The Olsen twins’ boyfriends in Passport to Paris
My first traumatic experience with a Francofaux was as a bilingual kid and Olsen fan in Paris, excitedly playing the VHS of Passport to Paris. Everything is going swimmingly until they meet their French boyfriends. Which is criminal because they partially filmed it in Paris. “Michel” and “Jean” (stereotypical much/eyeroll) are played by Ethan Peck and Brocker Way and not only wreck the accent but say absolute mostly nonsense??
Excerpt (it gets worse but this is the only clip I found- here one of them says “Oh sorry I didn’t see us” instead of “Oh pardon je ne VOUS ai pas vu” “Oh sorry I didn’t see you” but spoken by an adult/formally). The irony is Ashley following up with “What did he say?” to Mary-Kate. Exactly.
Accuracy of language in script : 3/10
Accent accuracy : 1/10
Overall level of deception: 10/10
A misleading Francofaux because her actual name is French: Celeste in Industry
Celeste in TV show Industry is a mentor and seductress to banking intern Yasmin but her made-up accent is so distracting that I found myself laughing and yelling at the TV in these high drama seduction scenes. The actress who plays her, Katrine de Candole is German so why not have her a) just do a German accent b) find anyone else in London where it is filmed c) hire a Parisian and pay for their TGV??
I was only able to find a fan montage but the first couple seconds give you an idea.
Accuracy of language in script : 10/10 (she just speaks English)
Accent accuracy : 4/10
Overall level of deception: 6/10
An unnecessary complication- Victor Frankenstein as a child and his mother in Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein
Fun fact, I just realized that Mia Goth who plays Victor’s love interest also plays his mother in the scenes of him as a child. Anywho- though their script is correct, they are both saying it as though they were acting in an early learning language class. Them speaking French was not a plot point in any way- especially as she is the only person he speaks French to in the 2+ hours of the movie- so why do it?
Accuracy of language in script : 8/10 (it’s just giving script for a language class/not natural)
Accent accuracy : 4/10
Overall level of deception: 7/10
The most beloved Francofaux aside from a scripting error that was not his fault- Antoine in I Love LA
Seeing Tim Baltz, BJ from Righteous Gemstones, is a treat from the moment he appears as Antoine. He doesn’t take himself seriously and is so sassy in this role that I am willing to go for the ride no matter what he does. But here is the thing- his accent is actually impressive and accurate. The only note- he leaves a scene with “Coucou” which just ruins the moment for it’s wrong use- it basically means “hey hey” and makes no sense. But overall- congrats Tim- I am fully on board with you.
Accuracy of language in script : 7/10
Accent accuracy : 9/10
Overall level of deception: 1/10
If you’ve made it this far- thank you for supporting my frivolity.
I will leave you with my top 2025-
Top movies watched in 2025
One Battle After Another
Bugonia
Top TV shows watched in 2025
Somebody, Somewhere
Top performances seen in 2025
Top art shows seen in 2025
Top books read in 2025
Top podcasts listened to in 2025
Bonne année and hope to write again soon!